Most of them are quite old, but just in case you haven't seen them all before...
“I don’t want you to do anything with it for the next four years except pee” - Knorr. (Giving one of his “new boy” sex talks to some new arrivals, some of whom were women).
“I can replace any of you, with a 25 cent stamp” – Knorr. (Referring to Bethelites in general).
“It’s good to be here on Monday, it happens about once a week.” - Swingle. (At morning worship).
“So thank you Brother Couch for that announcement, it was given with sincerity and all the love in your heart. Yes time and unforeseen occurrences befall us all and especially to those with cars.” - Swingle. (At morning worship).
“If you have a tendency towards ‘apostasy’, get a hobby and keep yourself busy to keep your mind off of it. Stay away from deep Bible study to determine meanings of the scriptures.” - Klein. (At morning worship).